Balancing unemployment and responsibility is really cutting into my leisure time. First of all, plans to lay out on a beach with a pina colada in one hand and a trashy novel in the other have been foiled. And, so much for sending the youngest spawn off to summer day camp every day. You can't do THAT and pay rent when you're living on unemployment checks! Don't even get me started on sending the oldest spawn off to college. I'm still paying on MY fucking student loans from 20 years ago and now I'm taking out more for her! Thanks, universe! Thanks a lot for kicking me in the teeth when I'm already down!
Needless to say, this shit has really taken a toll on my sanity. My kids are all up in my face 24/7. And Hubber is over here planning imaginary vacations...
Hubber: Hey, Wife! Check this out! We could go to Disney World for only $569/person!
Me: WTF? Are you mental? We have NO money.
Hubber: The bank account says we do...and I think we should high tail it out of this shoebox and see the world while we have the chance. Usually you're too busy "WORKING" to take a trip like this!
Me: You have officially lost your mind if you think it's smart to spend our life savings on frivolous shit when we have no income! And, you wanna take the kids? That's double the cost!
Hubber: But, I have faith in you! You will land a fabulous job soon! So, why not take advantage of this little break!?
Me: How am I the responsible one in this relationship all of a sudden? Do you have a brain tumor?? I think you have a brain tumor.
Me: Now you're talking!
I think we're both going a little stir crazy up in here. Something's gotta give. But, in the meantime....