Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Just Another Unemployment Rant...


I would like to take this time to send enormous amounts of ju-ju to my comrades on the open job market. It sounds fancy, huh? "ON THE JOB MARKET". But, it ain't, y'all. It's actually pretty horrible, demeaning and perpetually bubble bursty. Basically, it sucks. And, if you happen to be a slightly mental person on the job market, it's especially hard on those noodles inside your brain that help you to function in a somewhat "normal" fashion each day.

And, if by chance, you just turned 40 and found yourself unemployed, all "normalness" is pretty much out the window. That shit is nowhere to be found. NO. WHERE. Ya feel me?

I read somewhere that job hunters in my "career level" can expect to be "on the hunt" for about six months. Six, long, excruciating months of being rejected over and over and over and over again. And, if that wasn't bad enough, all the rejections come with PRAISE! They praise your background... tell you how wonderful you are... how smart and capable you are... how you're such a strong candidate and that the decision NOT to actually hire such a fan-fucking-tabulous  person was sooooo hard on THEM!

Way to build a bitch up just to kick her square in her lady parts when she's on cloud nine thinking she'll be starting a new job in no time! Assholes.

I'd almost rather they'd reject me with brutality. Like... "I'm sorry, you looked great on paper, but then we saw you in person, and you are just too damn fat to work here". Or... "We are only interviewing you because we have to prove that we actually interviewed at least one woman...really, we have no intention of hiring anything but a dick." Or, even... "I'm sorry, we really can't afford you unless you'd like to work for half of what you're actually worth."

Brutality would at least not fuck with my self esteem. I know I'm fat. I know I'm a woman. And, I know I won't work for fucking peanuts. That is the kind of shit that I OWN. I don't get myself all in a tizzy over it anymore.

If my skill set and experience isn't a perfect match, I can understand the rejection... I am applying to positions out of my "industry", so I can understand the hesitation from employers.

But, if I hear one more time how I am "over qualified" for a position that they took the time to interview me for TWICE, I might have to throat punch a mofo into kingdom come. For real. The job was in my salary range. I could do the work AND THEN SOME. But, they think I might get bored and not be fulfilled. WTF? I'm sorry...when I was in the business of hiring people, smart, competent candidates were hard to come by and I snatched them up at every opportunity. I didn't say, "thanks, but you are just waaaaay to smart to work here."

But, now that I think about it, maybe I AM too smart to work there.

Fuck-em.

When does my next unemployment check hit the bank?


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