The Devil's Spawn.

J got a new kitten (Rosie – a gray tabby) for her birthday last month. Before you die of utter sadness at the loss of our beloved Kali-cat, DON’T. She hasn’t been replaced. She’s still with us – in all her declawed gorgeousness! Rosie, on the other hand, is a 4 month old cat with more claws that friggen Moofasa. Seriously. That cat can rip you to shreds in 2 seconds flat. Sis is the one who bought the little she-devil. And she proooooomised that Rosie was nothin’ but a little lovey – all purrs and rubs and cute meows. And she WAS. At first. It lasted a total of 48 hours. Then, the little, cute puuuuuurfect kitty turned into hell cat. Sometimes she’s a sweetie pie…other times, she’s terrorizing Kali…clawing that beeeyotch up! She spies….she creeps…she POUNCES on the poor, unsuspecting DECLAWED Kali. At first, Kali would fight back, thinking, “I’m bigger than this little shrimp…I’ll show HER who’s boss!” But it didn’t take long for Rosie to realize that Kali was defenseless against her sharp, wolverine claws! They bounce around the house, jump on the furniture…Rosie on Kali’s damn tail the whole time. There’s nowhere to hide! Poor Kali. We’ve since resorted to squirting Rosie with water when she won’t listen. Cats + Water = Peace and Quiet.

We can’t get her declawed until she’s at least 6 months old. That’ll be Kali’s pay-back time! Uh huh! The little scrawny cat shall pay!

Oh, but get this…when we’re not home, the two sworn enemies roll up together in a little furry ball and sleep. Go figure. And, David’s figured out a way to calm Rosie down. First he holds her up high around her middle, legs dangling, and he sings “It’s the ciiiircle of liiiiife…and it moves us all…” While J and I laugh hysterically. Then, he squeezes her to his chest until her eyes pop out of her head and she meows and moans and prays for her life. I’m like, “Hubber, she’s going to tear your ass up with her claws!” But he’s all brave and muscular and manly taming the 2-pound-beast. We’re so proud. After a few minutes in the death grip, watching her super short life flash before her glazed eyes, Rosie is her cute, lovey little self. At least until she sees Kali…that’s when the tiger instincts kick back in and no living creature is safe!


Kali-cat-chicken-rat Posted by Hello


HELL CAT!!! Posted by Hello


*KISS* Posted by Hello



Cuuuute kitties! Posted by Hello
FALL is here!

Well, Summer is over and we’re officially in Fall. As J and I stepped outside this morning we were welcomed by a nice, cool breeze and low humidity. It was wonderful. And J is so smart and perceptive…she said… “Wow! Today really IS the first day of Fall. See how cool it is outside?!” The joke’s on her, though, because tomorrow, we’re supposed to be up in the mid 90’s again.

...I almost forgot to mention J's birthday party...


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The girly-girls! Posted by Hello
School started.



We’re back to the usual hustle and bustle that is our lives. I’m awake at 5:30 a.m. and I’m in bed at 9:30 p.m. Routines are supposed to be good for kids – but our kid hates it. She’d rather watch TV than do homework. She’d rather watch TV than have dinner. She’d rather watch TV than take a shower. Those damn TV shows are hypnotic, I think….they reel the kids in and they turn them against their parents. After one 30-minute show, those cute, adorable, loveable kids suddenly become rude, whiny, deaf, evil little brats. I don’t get it. Maybe the music they play in the background is one of those satanic, backwards-playing, Beatles albums? Maybe the commercials are filled with some secret code language that only kids can hear – like those dog whistle things? Our children are being brainwashed right under our noses! We might think the cute cereal commercial is harmless – but when we hear “I’m coo-coo for cocoa puffs…” our kids are really hearing, “Ignore your parents. Whining is good – it’ll get you anything your heart desires. Writing on walls is good. Homework is bad. Homework is the devil!”




...these boots are made for walkin'... Posted by Hello
Summer Lovin' Happened So Fast!

We had a great Summer. Disney World was a lot of fun! Hot. But fun. Exhausting. But fun. We walked and walked and walked until our feet threatened to fall off of our legs, shrivel up and die. But we loved every agonizing minute of it! J took TONS of pictures with characters…we had breakfast with Winnie the Pooh…we swam in the Fantasia swimming pool…we screamed our heads off on scary rides…we pigged out on junk food….and we bought more crap than any one family deserves to have in a lifetime of trips to Disney World! It was a crazy, expensive, amazing experience.


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One of my favorite things about our family vacations is the road trip itself. Talk about family bonding! This year we had a DVD player on both trips, which (although it was highly entertaining) took away from some of the usual deep, witty banter the three of us enjoy so much. I’m amazed at how J’s little brain works sometimes and how witty and sharp she is. She’s a little sponge, soaking it all up and squeezing it back out appropriately. Sitting in the car with J and hubber, I realize how truly happy I am – how content my life is. I’m free of worries and conflict. I’m enjoying life with a family I cherish more than anything. I’m so thankful…I’m so grateful…I’m so fortunate.

Last weekend we celebrated our second anniversary as a family. We stayed at the Boardwalk Inn in Kemah. Unlike Disney World, Kemah is relaxing.

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We spent a couple of hours, sitting under an umbrella, sipping on fabulously sweet, alcohol-loaded concoctions while taking pictures of Julie playing in the dancing water fountains.

We had nice dinner and we played in the amusement park before settling in for the night.

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The next morning we drove to Galveston and played on the beach. Galveston beaches are nothing to brag about, believe me, but just sharing a carefree afternoon with my two most favorite people in the world made me feel like I was in Hawaii.

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4th of July

I almost forgot to write a little about our 4th of July excursion! If you live in Houston, the place to be on Independence Day is downtown at the Elenor Tinsley park. There's a huge festival there - with live music, great food, and tons of freaky weirdos (Hang on to your kids!). Obviously, we stayed home most of the day. But, true to our family tradition, we ventured out into the world around 7:00 p.m. in search of a fun place to view fireworks. Here's how cute we looked:


Our happy little family...waiting for the fireworks on the 4th of July! Posted by Hello

...Unfortunately, people got wise to our secret spot (in the parking lot of the Houston Police Federal Credit Union) and closed it off. Where to go... Where to go?? Why, to pee-pee of course! It doesn't matter where we're going or how long we're gone, J ALWAYS has to go to the restroom when we're in the car. Unless she's watching a DVD, of course - in which case, her bladder goes into hibernation or something. Anyway, we found a restroom then continued our search for the perfect spot for watching fireworks. Finally, we found this place:


Oink Oink! I felt right at home! Posted by Hello


Sis and friend joined us at the Pig Stand for tailgating & fireworks! Posted by Hello


Don't worry - our view of the fireworks was NOT obstructed by this gorgeous sign! Posted by Hello
Crackuccino

What the heck do they put in the drinks at Starbucks? I’m beginning to wonder if there’s some underhanded, illegal activities going on there. I’m not a dope head and have no idea what it’s like to be addicted to crack – but if it’s anything like the addiction I have to the toffee nut latte, iced caramel machiato and the caramel frappuccino then those crack heads have a serious problem! And I know that it’s not just me this epidemic is affecting because J is hooked on those damn non-coffee frappuccinos! The vanilla bean frappuccino to be precise. The kid starts salivating every time we pass a Starbucks coffee house or when she gets a glimpse of one of their billboards. She’s like Homer Simpson, “mmmmmm, starbucks!” She turns into a zombie. Nothing can snap her out of it! She yearns for the sweet vanilla cream…she craves the fluffy whipped cream doused in… CRACK! When I tell her we’ll stop there on Friday, she counts down the days! “3 more days till starbucks!” This is not normal, I tell ya! I’ve even found myself hoarding dollars for the stuff (instead of using my debit card) so that hubber won’t know how often I go! But now, I think he’s on to me. I’m a crackuccino addict.


J - going looney - maybe all those crackuccinos finally caught up with her! Posted by Hello

Boardwalk Beast

Last weekend we went to the Saltgrass Steakhouse at the Kemah Boardwalk to celebrate my sister's birthday. Her birthday isn’t really until July 23rd, but we’ll be living it up in Disney World that day, so we figured we’d hook up before hand. Sis had the brilliant idea that riding this thing would be fun. According to her, you get a little wet – like walking through the rain for a few minutes. Apparently, my cute little sister is a lying sack of crap! We got DRENCHED. It was like someone was standing over us, pounding us with 50 kajillion gallon buckets of stinky salt water. And it didn’t trickle cutely over us. It GUSHED. It was a good thing I didn’t wear a white t-shirt! We walked off of that boat as if they’d just rescued us from the middle of the ocean and didn’t have the common decency to offer us a towel. And, as if that weren’t FUN enough…we got caught in the STORM OF THE CENTURY. The sky opened up, and in 10 minutes, that place was covered in 5 inches of water! And it wouldn’t stop – until, of course, we finally reached our car. By that time, it was bright and sunny with not a cloud in the goddamned sky. J thought it was the “funnest day EVER!” She wants to do it all again next month when we stay here for our anniversary.


This was before we got DRENCHED! Posted by Hello


The ride we never got to ride! Posted by Hello
Another Trip...

In approximately 8 days, we'll be on the road again. Destination: Walt Disney World, Orlando, Florida! Doesn't it seem like just yesterday we were getting back from Colorado? The only problem I have with all these trips (and it's a GREAT problem to have) is that I can't keep up with my scrapbooking. Last night I finally finished our 2002 Road Trip to Colorado book. That's no type-o. 2002. I'm two years behind! And I haven't even touched the small events that have happened along the way - like birthdays and christmases and memorable holidays, etc. How do those OTHER moms keep up? Damn the super moms. Damn them to hell!

Now- about our trip. We've got plans! We've dissected books and watched videos and we know exactly what to expect and which parks we're going to. And which rides at each park we want to ride. And which shows at each park we don't want to miss. We even went to the Disney store in town to load up on cheap gear! This is the readiest we've ever been for a trip, I think! Yes, we're dorks.

The anticipation of this vacation makes all the regular daily crap I deal with before leaving seem so insignificant. Missed a deadline? Who cares! I'm going to Disney World! Article pictures suck smelly ass? Who gives a crap! I'm going to DISNEY WORLD! Have to sit through a long, boring conference call where normally it's all I could do not to pound my head in with a hammer? No problem! Surf the net - during the call - I'M GOING TO DISNEY WORLD! Dangit! Everyone else can eat my dust!

The only bad thing is that I have to go back work eventually. So, maybe I should make sure I leave a clean slate before I go to Disney World. Maybe. MAYBE NOT!