Sunday, August 29, 2010

It's "Back to School" time, bitches!

This past summer was particularly difficult for me. Since we didn’t go on vacation, the time seemed to drag on and on and on. I had grand plans of bringing J to work with me once a week to volunteer….and plans of working from home once a week to get in some bonding time with J while lil J and Hubber went off to school and work….and plans of sipping on tons and tons of fruity, adult beverages while sitting on a beach for a week without a care in the world. None of that shit came to fruition.

The following happened instead:
  1. I spent four long, excruciating weeks at home without central air conditioning
  2. After said air conditioning was fixed, the one in my car went to out. So I spent another 2 weeks driving in 100 degree weather without air conditioning
  3. Hubber’s car broke down
  4. We spent all our vacation money on fixing a/c’s and cars
  5. Our pool pump broke and the water was thick and green for 3 weeks
  6. J finally got braces
  7. Our pool was infested with ducks. Twice.
On a positive note, though:
  1. lil J didn’t say “fuck” once all summer
  2. When my car was in the shop, I got to drive around in a brand new, pimped-out Tahoe
  3. Although I didn’t have them on the beach, I did have many fruity, adult beverages
  4. My dog didn’t die of malnourishment
  5. My grandma celebrated her 90th birthday
  6. lil J learned to write her name
  7. J finally got braces
  8. My tires are bald, but still rolling
  9. Now Hubber’s car’s a/c is out. Ha! ;-)
Well, school is back in session. For me, this is bittersweet. Sweet - because now I can quit trying to come up with shit for J to do while she’s home alone all day. Bitter - because I fucking lost my free housekeeper/dog sitter. And extra bitter because now I have to tote both kids around to extra curricular activities again…which cuts into my ME time. These people are lucky I love them.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Will Blog for Food


I haven’t posted on my blog in forever and ever because I have spent non-work hours and many sleepless nights scouring the internet for “work from home” opportunities. As it turns out, this is a monumental task. There’s a lot of bullshit out there, y’all. I’m here to give you a little advice on some of the shit I’ve learned so far.

First, participating in paid surveys is totally not worth your time and energy. The average payout is like $1 for 2 hours of your time. Basically, YOU are paying them. And I don’t like paying for shit, so I quit. I did, however, find J a gig through my survey research that pays $60…all she has to do is monitor her snacking habits on a palm pilot (which they supplied her with) for 2 weeks. Don’t ask me where I came across that shit, because God only knows, but she’s kinda excited about earning some extra cash by doing close to nothing. Plus, it’s good for me because she owes me $60…it’s a win/win.

Another scheme you should avoid is this google ad thingy you can put on your blog. See it? Yeah, well, unless you have 9,000 hits a day, that shit doesn’t pay off, either. And, although I’d like to think people are actually reading this shit…you’ll see on the right there that I only have 4 followers. And, at $0.00034 a click, it’ll be 62 years before I see $1.

After figuring that the money ain’t gonna roll in while I sit on my fat ass by the pool with a good book and a pina colada, I decided to get serious. So, while I'm whoring myself out doing contract work and making hair bows in the evenings, I'm still juggling my day job and all the fun shit is falling by the way side.  Which is sad, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.