That's our new nickname for Rosie, the hell cat. At first we called her Stitch. Because she reminded of us know...from Lilo and Stitch? "Ohana means family and family means nobody gets left behind." We hated her. But we loved her.

Since we got her declawed, though, we haven't hated her so much. She's been pretty docile. And the thing I like best about the new Rosie is that she lets me manhandle her. I grab her up...I rub her down....I carry her like a baby....and she doesn't fight to get away from me (like Kali does when I show her too much attention). Rosie turned into a dog. And I love her for that. Because I love dogs. She's our new cat-dog. (I watch way too many kid shows). Anyway. My point? Yes. Well. As you know, Rosie's been recuperating from declaw-surgery. Which was a traumatic experience for the entire family. We've finally gotten our household back to normal. No more antibiotics to force down a cat's throat. No more fake (paper-type) stinky-ass kitty litter to endure. No more shit-stained leg bandages. Just plain ol' normal-ness. Or so we thought. First J noticed something odd.

Ju: Rosie's still got claws!
Me: That's absurd.
J: Seriously! Something on her paw got stuck to my shirt.
Me: Maybe it's poop.
J: MOOOOM! it's a CLAW!
Me: Can't be a claw. Maybe it's just the stitch. It probably got hooked onto your shirt somehow.
J: Nope it's a claw.
Me: Whatever. Go take a bath.

And that was the end of that conversation. I mean, seriously! It made no sense that a declawed cat would have a claw. My kid was obviously nuts.

So, then a few days later, Hubber notices the same thing.

Hubber: I think Rosie still has a claw.
Me: Not you, too!!
Hubber: Something sharp just poked me in the balls!
Me: Uhm. What?!
Hubber: I'm serious! (he said as he attemped to inspect each and every cat toe for a possible claw.)

Sure enough...Rosie had one claw...her middle finger on her left paw. Maybe it was her way of shooting the finger at us! That little heffer reserved the last laugh!

Me: How can she have a claw?!
Hubber: They must have missed one?
Me: They don't miss CLAWS when they declaw!
Hubber: Maybe they miscounted.
Me: How can she have a claw?!

So I call the vet. And I talk to a person named Kimberly who was no help at all. I explained the situation.

Kim: What do you mean she has a claw?
Me: SHE HAS ONE CLAW. She got declawed. But we found a CLAW!
Kim: I've never heard of that.
Me: Well, neither have I!
Kim: So, you say she still has one claw?
Me: (pounding my head against a wall) Yes. So, how do we handle this situation? Does she have to have surgery again? Do I get reimbursed for the one claw? Do I get free vet visits for life? What?!
Kim: I don't know. Declawed cats aren't supposed to have claws. (well duh!!) You'll have to bring her in so the Dr. can look at her.
Me: (very tired of this conversation) Ok.

Then later that night Hubber suggested we demand our $260 back so we can take Rosie to a vet who knows how to count to 20. Or that we demand free claw-clipping for life. But I don't want to take that heffer to the vet every week for a clipping!! He thinks that once a week is better than enduring the hellish-3-week-post-surgery lifestyle.

If anyone's reading this and you have advice regarding the demands I should me, quick!

Maybe I'll just leave the claw there and let her poke people with it. It's actually kinda cute.