The youngest spawn is always asking me what I want to be when I grown up. As if a) I'm not already grown; and b) she doesn't think I'm anything in particular already. We have discussed the possibility of my being an opera singer, an artist, and/or an airline pilot (so she can FINALLY get to ride on a plane - she's so deprived, y'all)... but all that stuff requires years of training, dedication and skill. None of which I currently have nor have energy left to gain.
When I was a kid, I wanted to be a lawyer, so I went to a high school that catered to preparing students for careers in law enforcement and criminal justice. As it turned out, lawyer-ing didn't quite interest me. So, I turned to law enforcement and thought maybe I'd like to be a crime scene investigator... but when I discovered that all the physical shit required of police officers was far beyond my capabilities, I nixed that idea, too.
So, I went to college for a bazillion and sixty-three years and changed my career path at least once a year before I settled on an english major - mechanical engineering (NO)... psychology (NO)... fine arts (NO)... teaching (NO)... business (NO),,, criminal justice again (still NO).... and I can't remember what else.
But here I am, still floundering without a clear path to who I'm going to be when I finally grow up. I'll be forty years old in a few months, so I figure I'm pretty much screwed. There is only one obvious path left for me to take:
Me: I think I'll be a "Crazy Cat Lady" when I grow up.
...complete with moo-moos, wiry hair, and lots 'n lots o' cats!
Hubber: A crazy cat lady, huh?
Me: Yep. Finally! I have something to aspire to!
Hubber: I would say you've been well on your way to CRAZY for the last 10 years. At least. Now, all you need is for me to die so you can get a shit ton of cats.
Me: Why do you have to die first?
Hubber: First of all, I hate cats. Second of all, Crazy Cat Ladies live ALONE with their cats. So, unless you plan on giving all THIS up <pointing to his body parts and all around the house>, you'll have to wait until I die and your children move out.
Me: Well, shit. You really know how to bust a girl's aspiration bubble, don't you?
Hubber: It's my goal in life.
Me: But, it's my life's calling! How could you take that away from me?!
Hubber: If you'd like, I'll just move out into the Minnie Winnie and you three girls can be crazy cat ladies all together!
Youngest Spawn: YES! I wanna be a cat lady!! I love cats!! I want a bazillion kitties!
So much for MY dreams.