Monday, February 23, 2009

One…Two…Freddy’s coming for you…

I heard this thing on the radio this morning about how all dreams MEAN something. It got me to thinking about this recurring dream I have of Freddy Kruger and Nightmare on Elm Street. First of all, let me just say that I fucking hate talking about this damn dream. The more I talk about it, the more it lingers in my mind, and the more scared I am to fall asleep...because in case you have been living on another damn planet and don’t know about what Freddy does, he slaughters you in your god damned sleep….and it’s a dream, but it’s real…like you really, truly, friggen die, people! So, instead of writing all the details of the dream here and making it all more real in my mind…let’s just say that in the dream, Freddy would like me to die…there is much running and hiding and screaming and fiery hells involved. Enough said.

Anyway, I went to dreamzone.com which is supposed to have this free dream dictionary. I type in Freddy Kruger. I get nothing. I type in dying and get this:
Death/Dead/Dying: Change, the old dying off in order to make way for the new. The end of an issue or relationship. A part of yourself, a part of your life, something in your world coming to a close. Fear not. Rebirth is around the corner. Dead people in a dream usually refer to issues that are dead, that you should no longer give any energy to. Ask yourself if you are holding a grudge that you need to let die. Actual dead people you once knew often refer to that point in your life when they were around. Is there anything about who you were then that you need to bring back to life now?
Then, I type in fiery hell and get this:

Hell: May symbolize a very difficult time you are having to go through. Fears, anxieties, feeling trapped. An evil force.
Then, I type in fire, because evidently the phrase FIERY HELL is not in the dictionary -- and I get this:

Fire: Often means rage and anger or burning passion. If house is on fire it's a warning of frazzled nerves, a nervous breakdown. A destructive force in your life.
Hmmmm….well, I do a lot of running in this dream, too, so I type in running and get this:
Fleeing/Chased/Running: Running from an issue. What or who are you avoiding right now? The message of this dream is "stop running, the more you run from this issue the longer it will last."
Running: Do you need to pick up the pace somewhere in your life? Are you trying to keep up? Things may be going too fast. Slow down. If you are running from something then you are probably avoiding something or someone in your waking life.
I type in screaming, but as it turns out, I’m the only fool who screams in her dreams because the word was not in the dictionary. I make one last search…the word hiding…I get this:
Hiding/Hide/Hid: A good indication you are avoiding an issue, you are afraid of confrontation or perhaps you are hiding a secret? What is it you don't want to be "found" out?

So, in case you are having a hard time keeping up, this dreamzone chic is basically saying I feel trapped, angry, and nervous and that I’m running away from something (or avoiding something…or things are moving too fast for me or some shit) and that there’s some big fat secret in my life that I’m keeping. And that something in me is dying to make room for something new. Huh? Yes, I'm confused, too. (That part about death said something about dead people in your life...and sometimes I dream non-Freddy dreams about my great Aunt - Tia Julia. I see her head sitting on the on the bathroom counter of my grandma's old house, her eyes following me across the room. Tia Julia used to spank the shit out of us when we were kids. She'd sit in this scary little chair and every time we'd pass by her, we'd run so she couldn't swat us...sometimes with a rolled up church bulletin. But, that's a whole other dream to dissect.)

It's all very interesting, though. The only things I agree with are the anger and the frazzled nerves. I can be one angry bitch! And nerves!!! Holy Crapoly! I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown every day at 4:30 p.m., Monday through Friday!

I have this exact same dream at least 2 or 3 times a year…and when I’m dreaming the dream, I try telling myself to do something different so that the dream isn’t the same, but part of me LIKES being fucking scared out of my god damned mind so I do the same things anyway… knowing damn well that the end will be the same. Which reminds me, I forgot to look up the word burning. Oh, fuck me – that word isn’t in the dictionary, either. I’m the only loser who burns in her dreams, too.

I’m totally screwed up.

I should totally be medicated.

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