Thanks to the NFL play-offs, I've been watching commercials a lot lately. It's kinda fun watching how men are being marketed to. There's a lot of erectile dysfunction stuff... beer... and surprisingly, dental implants. "Tired of cleaning your dentures...?" is how one of them started.
Me: Wow! So, I wonder if you can get all your teeth pulled and implants installed in just two visits?!
Hubber: Sure, if you can afford it.
Me: That's awesome... and you won't ever have to brush your teeth again! Imagine how much money you'll save on toothpaste...and mouthwash...and whitening treatments! We should totally do this.
Hubber: Wait. What? You still have to brush your teeth.
Me: No. Their marketing message revolved around the fact that you'll never have to clean your dentures again.
Hubber: If you get IMPLANTS you won't have DENTURES to clean anymore... you'll still have TEETH.
Me: But, they're not real. They won't rot!
Hubber: You'll still have bad breath!
Me: Hmmmm. Gum? Mints?
Hubber: And gingevitis!
Hubber: What's the use in having fancy, white fake teeth if your gums are puss infected, bleeding messes?
Me: Well, there goes that plan.
Hubber: You need to start thinking these things through before making plans.
Me: Fuck you.
Hubber: Brush your teeth first.
So, what's the use in replacing all your teeth if you still have to brush them? I don't get it. If you're toothless and wearing dentures, wouldn't it just be easier to whip those bad boys out every night and let them soak themselves clean?