We continued our play date with a visit to the segunda (thrift/resell shop) in search of el-cheap-o swimsuits for my youngest spawn. Yeah, I buy used swimsuits... so what?! Kids' swimsuits are fucking expensive. $20 for a new suit is a lot of money when you're poor like I am (and getting low on booze). I need to find suits of the $5 variety. But to my dismay, there were ZERO swimsuits in stock at the segunda. The lady working there said they're "not in season" yet and to "try back in a couple of weeks". We live in Houston, Texas, bitch! There are no seasons here! They had rows and rows of parkas and snow pants and it doesn't even snow here. It's 80 degrees out today for crissakes! No swimsuits? That's just ridiculous.
Me: These bitches just lost out on my business today! I was going to spend some money up in here!
Sis: I'm sure they'll be crying over the $6 you would have spent.
Me: $6? More like $5.
Me: What's with all the furry fucking coats?! This ain't Alaska!
Sis: You need to calm down and come back in a couple of weeks.
Me: I ain't coming back here. I'm just gonna buckle down and buy the $15 swimsuit I saw at Target. So much for my Cruzan Rum.
Sis: You're such a cheapskate!
Me: ....says the heifer who just put back a pair of $6.99 jeans because they were "too expensive"!
Me: Touche my ass. The segunda sucks, yo.
Sis: Let's go play "Battleship"!
So, instead of ending our play date on a sour note, we went back to my house for a friendly game of Battleship where we reminisced about the olden days when the Battleship boards were made of steel (instead of the chintzy plastic shit they're made of now). The Battleship games of our day even made those badass "you sunk my battleship" sounds (which are completely non-existent nowadays - unless you make them with your own mouth). Those were the days.
|Obviously, I'm related to a cheater.|
She better go to Confession this week!