Me: Yeah, you do it. It's annoying as hell. You're all like, "keep your fingers crossed for me today!" I hate when you do that shit.
Sis: What's the big deal? Maybe I don't want everybody to know my business.
Me: Then why say anything at all?
Sis: Because some people DO know my business... and THOSE people will keep their fingers crossed or say a little prayer for me because they KNOW what the heck I'm talking about! And those who don't, are usually kind enough to send good vibes my way simply because I asked for them - no strings attached!
Me: Well, that's just fucked up. And, it pisses me off more because sometimes you put that shit up there and I see people commenting about how they'll pray for you or cross their fingers for you as if they ARE in on your secret, undercover bullshit... while I have NO FUCKING CLUE why you need me to cross my damn fingers. How the hell do they know what's going on and I don't?! How?! I feel the sudden need to punch you in the eye right now. I wanna pull your hair, too.
Sis: Calm down! You always know, you just forget! I tell you shit and you listen only half-assedly!
Me: For all I know, you could be having a serious bout of constipation! I ain't wasting my prayers on your SHIT! I have to use my requests to God sparingly. And, don't even get all up in my good mojo....that shit is saved up, too.... for serious requests! I could care less about your bowel movements unless you're on your death bed. Are you dying?!
Sis: Who the hell said anything about my shitting habits?! YOU'RE the one talking about me being constipated! All I said was that sometimes I post statuses on Facebook asking for a prayer or two. You don't have to comply!!
Me: When it comes to prayers and finger crosses, you get NADA unless I am privy to the REASONS. You hear me? You shouldn't even be posting that shit on there unless you're gonna tell us all what the heck is going on.
Sis: YOU ALWAYS KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON!
Me: Case closed. I'm over this conversation.
Sis: Why do I even talk to you?
Me: <La la la la la la... >>
|Well, thank GOD! I thought you never would!|