The Simple Mind

I'm almost a little ashamed to admit this - but I'm hoplessly addicted to The Simple Life and Newlyweds. What the heck is wrong with me?! Paris & Nicole are trampy versions of Jessica. And I love all three of those heffers! They're funny as shit!

Maybe my issue is that I'd secretly like to be gorgeous, rich, superficial and dumb as a gnat. I wonder what my life would be like if I had been born the daughter of a billionaire. I definitely wouldn't be plastered in front of this thing typing my heart out, that's for darn sure! I'd probably be out SHOPPING. For $76.8 kajillion shoes. With matching bags. And strappy, clingy see-through dresses. With no bra. Or panties. Wearing blue eyeshadow. And hot pink high heeled flip flops (which I hate, by the way).