Thursday, April 8, 2010

Feeling Kinda Bitchy...

My allergies have been kicking my ass lately. Evidently, Houston is experiencing historically high pollen counts and it’s that shit that is wreaking havoc on my sinuses. I am now on antibiotics for a sinus infection which means no booze for 10 days. That shit is fucked up. How’s a girl to get her thrills? And my jackass doctor said that wine counts as booze. So…basically, it’s ok for a pregnant woman to drink a couple of glasses of wine a day, but a totally UNpregnant woman with a sinus infection can’t?! WTF? Something ain’t right with this picture. And, as if that piece of news wasn’t bad enough… I had to do blood work while I was at the doctor. I try to tell those bitches that I have only one good vein, but they don’t listen…so now I look like a junkie with track marks all over my arm from where they poked me and no blood flowed.

In other news… Work sucks, y’all. I’m finding it hard to listen to these yip yappers without getting the sudden urge to poke them in the eyes with my pen. Maybe being sick has drained me of patience, I don’t know. What I do know is that I’m about to go postal if they don’t get out of my face with all their nonsense. Smiling and nodding and NOT listening to them seems to work for a few minutes…the trick is to get them out of my office before I lose my shit. I’ve tried singing songs in my head. I’ve tried imagining the yip yapper with a tiny Beatlejuiced head. I’ve tried imagining I could do a Chuck Norris kick to their head and snap their neck in two seconds. I’ve tried counting the number of times they blink their eyes…or look at my boobs… or say “like”…or “and uhm”. All the while, smiling and nodding… like I give a shit. Maybe I’m just jonesing for some booze. Since I KNOW I can’t have any, it makes me want it even more which makes me irritable and totally intolerant… or intolerable… or both.

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