Sunday, July 3, 2011

Oh, the joys of "working from home"....

Being a "contractor" can be fun but it also comes with its own set of complications.  Here's what I've learned in the past 6 months:

The good:
  1. You only need one roll of duct tape to secure a 5-year-old to a chair AND cover her mouth.
  2. Coffee tastes good in the morning... but booze helps you make it through the entire day (an added plus is that there's no need to "drive intoxicated"...which means I'm probably saving lives here, people!!)
  3. You can dedicate your life to embarrassing your teenager by prancing around in your housedress all day while friends come and go.
  4. You can spy on your neighbors during the day.
  5. You can save gazillions of dollars in gas money!
  6. Your office can sometimes be poolside...while you piddle away with two feet in the pool and a glass of wine in one hand.
The bad:
  1. You can't buy groceries with promises of wealth to come "someday in the future".
  2. You can write your ass off... but it doesn't mean anyone will read what you write or even give a shit that you're a badass writer.  Thick skin comes in handy.
  3. Clients are always right... even when they're dumbass pieces of shit.
  4. Having a dog and a toddler (and now a cat from hell) as co-workers is not all fun and games.
  5. All those gazillions of dollars you save in gas money is now spent on electricity and entertainment.... oh, and booze.
  6. Working poolside is not all that fun in 100-degree weather.
The ugly:
  1. You can't go home to get away from the office when the office is in your home.
  2. A virtual assistant living in the Phillipines with a college degree will work for $1/hour, but they won't be able to speak or write a proper (or even half-assed) sentence in English. 
  3. It's really hard to justify buying a new pair of shoes every month.
  4. Just because you work from home doesn't mean you're a goshdarned housekeeper!

     


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