Now I have a big, mean-looking dog who is afraid of her own shadow. She goes without peeing and pooping for DAYS if it's raining outside. She's got a strong bladder, y'all. And she's always nervous. She jumps with any little noise. Close a door, the dog jumps. Flush the toilet, she runs to her bed. Knock at the door, she hides. When she's feeling extra nervous, she walks laps around the coffee table. If anyone ever broke into our house, that bitch ain't protecting her family...she's gonna save the shit out of her own damn life and leave us there to get stabbed to death. She's the worst watch-dog ever.
My point here is that now I have a crazy ass turtle. She's an aquatic turtle...requiring both water for swimming and dry land with hot lamps for vacationing. It was expensive putting her habitat thingy together. Does that bitch give a shit? No, she does not. She uses the pool every other day for about an hour to eat and shit in... and the rest of the time, she digs her way down under the rocks and sand and stays buried. What kind of AQUATIC animals hates water? One belonging to me... that's what kind.
|Do YOU see a fucking turtle in here? No.|
|That's because she was under a fucking rock!|