Outlook: Life Sucks Hairy Ass
GPS Coordinates: BFE
Toddler Quote of the Day: "I talk a lot and I'm smart."
We spent the first part of the day waking up. Literally. The whole changing time zones during daylight savings time has totally fucked us up. We don't know when to fall asleep, and evidently we don't know when to wake up, either. When we finally got our shit together, we hit the road again. I think that's a song. Or it should be.
Just when I was praising her diligence, Maggie (GPS) reverted to her bitchy self. She sent us through the Florida ghetto on an empty tank. Then, she proceeded to tell us that the "arrival time" had passed even though we hadn't reached our destination. Had it not been for the two witnesses in the backseat, I would have strangled that bitch before throwing her out the window.
We finally made it to Grandma's house. Since childhood, that place has mysteriously turned into the Twilight Zone. All the [very tightly] hidden secrets are now all out in the open for everyone to see. They slapped me in the face and sunk their rotten teeth into my skin. It's a sad, sad state of affairs. I can hardly wait to get back on the road.