|This doesn't say, "here's a great way to get a face lift,|
Mom!", it says, "here, Mom, start giving blow jobs for
a living to raise your own money for a face lift."
|This shit is NOT jewelry!|
And, whatever you do, DO NOT buy your mother crap that she can "use" around the house. If she wants a new vacuum cleaner or a fancy feather duster, she will buy that shit for herself. If you want to contribute to her household, shower her instead with gifts of wine, cocktail mixers, ice cream and bacon. You could even throw in a maid service if you're so inclined.
|The Slipper Genie? This shit will|
not fly unless you plan on scooting
your ass around her house cleaning
the damn floors yourself.
Here are a few other things NOT to buy your mother for Mother's Day:
- Exercise videos/equipment (this is a no-brainer)
- Clothes (let's face it, you don't know what the fuck her size is, let alone what she likes)
- Generic lotion/body wash gift sets (she knows you bought that shit at Walmart for $1!)
- Fake flowers (just because "they never die" doesn't mean she wants that shit collecting dust in her house)
- Cleaning products (unless a free french maid comes along with that shit)