Spring Break 2012: Day 1

We are currently on the longest road trip we’ve ever taken in the Minnie Winnie.  Here was the scenario when we left the house an hour late:
  • It was pouring down rain.
  • We got stuck in rush hour traffic leaving the house.
  • Everyone was hungry.
  • I had the nagging feeling that I had forgotten to do something at home. Unplug the iron?  Turn off the coffee pot? Lock the backdoor?  Fuck.
  • The oldest spawn was hacking up lungs and spreading germs in a small, confined space; we’re all liable to be sick before we get to Colorado.
  • SOMEONE was gassy.
  • And apparently, Aunt Flow decided to tag along on the trip.  Oh, joy!
Two hours later, we were finally out of Houston with a stock pile of Kleenex, NyQuil and feminine hygiene products; but I still hadn’t popped my laptop open to get sme "work" done.

Then, to make things WAY more enjoyable, Hubber had it in his head that he wanted to drive all night. This was fine until he woke ME up from my narcotics-induced slumber to take over as pilot so he could rest.  It’s not so bad driving in the middle of the night when things are quiet and not any people are on the road; that is until the youngest spawn (who had already gotten 6 great hours of sleep) decided that it’s her calling in life to be a co-pilot.  Needless to say, it got loud quickly.   But for once, her annoying little cackle didn’t send me all in a tizzy; it was comforting.  It was also entertaining and educational. I learned a few historical facts that I have never been privy to before.  I’ll share them here with you so that we’re all “in the know.”
  • Abraham Lincoln came to Texas to fight for freedom.  He won the battle and Texas became a State.
  • If it weren’t for Abraham Lincoln, people that live in Texas wouldn’t speak English; they’d speak Chinese (like they do in Virginia).
  • These are all facts; which means they are non-fiction.  Fiction is like when dogs talk or houses fly.
This heifer is a genius, I tell ya!  I should charge people to hear some of the shit that comes out of her mouth.  Seriously.

Wait.   I wonder if it was all a dream? But, then how do you explain this picture I found on my phone?

"... four score and seven years ago, our forefathers..."
sent Abe Lincoln to Texas to kick some ass!