I hate volunteering at my kids' schools. What's the deal with all the psycho moms who pretend to enjoy that crap? I hate baking cookies and cutting stenciled crap out of construction paper and I wouldn't be caught dead in a mini van with those dumbass kid sport stickers on the rear windshield. Don't even get me started on the "honor roll" kids.
Oldest Spawn: Look Mom, I got an honor roll sticker for your car!
Oldest Spawn: Where shall I stick it?
Me: You don't REALLY want me to answer that, right?
Oldest Spawn: Mooooo-oooom! Aren't you proud?
Me: Of course I'm proud, but that shiz is not going on my car....
Youngest Spawn: Your sticker is dumb, Sis.
Amen, mini-me! Finally, someone who understands.
Maybe my problem is that I suck at cooking. And, my crafting skills are pretty limited. Also, stickers don't stay stuck to my car's window because the glass is too dirty. If it weren't for the gazillion dollars I'm going to make pimping out these clients, I wouldn't have much going for me. Need a pimp?